There are few things more enjoyable than listening to a great song, especially if stellar lyrics complement an excellent musical score.

We all have, however, an affinity for certain songs that are upbeat, buoyant, and disturbingly catchy … but whose lyrics are bad, perhaps comically so.

For me, one such song is Simon & Garfunkel’s “Cecilia.”

Inexplicably, whenever I listen to it, my mood is elevated and various parts of my body start moving, often in different directions.

Yet, if we take even a perfunctory peek at the lyrics, we find they are not exactly worthy of Shakespeare, Churchill, Twain, or Al Stewart. In fact, they may not even be worthy of Weird Al Yankovic.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

The song opens:

Celia, you're breakin' my heart
You're shakin' my confidence daily
Whoa, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm beggin' you please to come home, ah

He’s begging her to come home. Not very manly.

And then:

Makin' love in the afternoon with Cecilia
Up in my bedroom (makin' love on my bed)
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed, someone's taken my place

It seems odd that, after stating that he and Cecilia were making love in the afternoon in his bedroom, the protagonist, as it were, feels the need to add “on my bed.” Redundant? Or did he think the majority of us listening would otherwise think the activity took place under his bed or perhaps on his nightstand or in the closet?

And then the kicker: he got out of bed after a long afternoon of lovemaking with his significant other, briefly went to the bathroom to wash his face (I’m speculating on the need for doing so), and, upon his return, noticed that “someone” else had taken his place. Noting that this is unfortunate is an understatement.

Hate that when that happens! Leaving the passionate embrace of the arms of one’s lover only to return in three minutes to find said lover in bed with another would surely be traumatizing.

Things that might go through one’s mind: “Was it something I said?” “How could it happen so quickly?” And, of course, “Dammit, that’s the third time this month!”

Our intrepid loser then goes on to chronicle how his heart has again been broken, even as he’s (again) begging her to come home:

Celia, you're breakin' my heart
You're shakin' my confidence daily
Whoa, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm beggin' you please to come home
Ho-ho-home

Given his lover’s actions, it’s entirely possible the “ho-ho” part is most accurate, if you know what I mean.

But, thankfully for all concerned, there is a happy ending:

Jubilation, she loves me again
I fall on the floor and I'm laughin'
Jubilation, she loves me again
I fall on the floor and I'm laughin'

And then, despite the ho-ho-hoing, there is a great deal of woah-oh-ohing to wrap up the tune:

Woah-oh-oh-oh
Whoah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh
Whoah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Though, as some of you may have noticed, I’m a lyrics guy -- an admirer of the written and spoken word — I still enjoy a few songs like this. No apologies. I’m guessing you have your own closet favorites.

Woah-oh-oh-oh.

Image: Pixabay / Pixabay License