College football season is here, so I thought it might be time to discuss a topic that has bugged and amused me since 2012. It has nothing to do with politics and much to do with the mascots for each of the sixteen universities in the Southeastern Conference, otherwise known as the SEC.
Conference expansion has added to the strangeness of the SEC, but the conference was already strange from its founding in 1932. Until recently, when you put together a group of colleges to form an athletic conference, the most rational way to do it was geographically, both because nearby schools were often already rivals and because they were within reasonable driving distance.
Even so, it was unusual for a geographically oriented athletic conference to have two teams or even three with the same mascot name. This is where the SEC starts to get weird. Not only did they start out with three tigers, but they also had two teams whose mascots were bulldogs. I’m referring to the Louisiana State University Tigers, the Auburn Tigers, the Sewanee Tigers, the Mississippi State Bulldogs, and the Georgia Bulldogs. Sewanee dropped out in 1940, leaving the conference with only two tigers. However, the SEC bided its time and in 2012 added the University of Missouri Tigers.
Forgive me if I don’t give Georgia and Mississippi State points for originality when it comes to their mascots. Mississippi State’s bulldog, named Bully, is brown and white. The University of Georgia’s bulldog, named Uga, appears to be all white. Both are English bulldogs. When I was a teenager, I thought Uga was short for Ugly, but obviously it means U of GA.
The same goes for LSU, Auburn, and Missouri on originality. To be fair, there are differences. LSU’s tiger is named Mike; Auburn’s is named Aubie; and the Missouri tiger is named Truman, after former President Truman. The mascot costumes all look different as well. LSU does have one advantage over the other two because it has a live tiger, also named Mike.
The Auburn Tiger deserves special mention because it is strange in its own way. It is a tiger that yells “War Eagle!” I’m sorry, but that sounds a bit schizoid to me.
The mascots for Texas, Arkansas, and South Carolina make up what could be called the SEC’s Barnyard or Country Store. You have a Longhorn named Bevo, a Razorback Russian Boar named Tusk, and a Gamecock or Rooster named Cocky. I think of them as beef, pork, and chicken. Florida has a pair of Gator mascots named Albert and Alberta, who might fit in this category. I have been told gators taste like chicken and are good on the barbie.
I heard that Kentucky’s mascot, the Wildcat, was chosen through a process of elimination. The other options were Moonshiners, Preachers, and Shootin’ Irons. Actually, the name comes from a 1909 church service, where the Kentucky football team was praised for fighting like wildcats.
Other SEC mascots go from the mildly weird to the really strange. Both the Tennessee Volunteers and the Texas A&M Aggies have dogs as mascots. The Volunteer nickname refers to the number of people who volunteered to fight in various wars. Their mascot is a hound dog named Smokey. I assume the name is a reference to the nearby Smokey Mountains, not because the dog smokes cigars or because it was singed in a fire, like Smokey the Bear.
Texas A&M’s nickname originates from A&M, which stands for Agricultural & Mechanical, designating the school as an agricultural college; hence, the Aggies. Aggies are basically farmers. I could understand a farmer with a dog, but Texas A&M also pretends to be some sort of military academy, which is why their mascot is a Collie named Reveille. I don’t think West Point has anything to fear.
Vanderbilt was founded by a gift of one million dollars from Cornelius “Commodore” Vanderbilt, who amassed a fortune through steamships and railroads. Their mascot is Mr. Commodore. Since Vanderbilt is the only private university in the SEC, and the tuition is a bit steep, one would tend to believe that mostly rich kids go to school there. I’m not saying they should change their mascot to a Bitcoin or a BMW, but it’s a thought.
The University of Oklahoma’s nickname is Sooners. Their mascots are the two white ponies, named Boomer and Sooner, that pull a covered wagon known as the Sooner Schooner. The words boomer and sooner are related to the 1889 Land Rush, when over 50,000 people rushed into the Oklahoma Territory. To make things fair, potential settlers lined up at the eastern border, waiting for a cannon to be fired at the start time. However, some people managed to sneak across the border before the cannon was fired. You could stake your claim to the best parcels of land if you got there sooner. Essentially, a Boomer is someone who followed the rules, and a Sooner is a cheater. I would have picked a different nickname. But that was a long time ago, and all of the Sooners I have met are really nice folks.
The University of Mississippi, also known as Ole Miss, is commonly referred to as the Rebels. Their previous mascot was called Colonel Reb. The Colonel was removed in 2003 because people began to feel that he represented the Old South. After a brief flirtation with Rebel the Bear in 2010, they wandered mascotless until 2018, when they found a new one, Tony the Landshark. No, really.
Come on, Rebs! You can’t be serious. This sounds like a mascot for the Gambino Mafia Family. My advice is to find someone who resembles James Dean, the iconic 1950s actor. Dress the guy in jeans and a leather jacket. Then y’all can be Rebels Without a Cause.
Before I discuss Alabama, a little family history. My Aunt Margaret used to live in the small town of Worthington, West Virginia. Worthington is just a stone’s throw away from Monongah, where former Bama football coach Nick Saban grew up. One day, when I was visiting, she happened to mention that Little Nicky, as she called him, used to pump gas for her at his father’s service station. Afterward, I became a fan of Coach Saban at Michigan State, LSU, and Alabama. Now that he has switched gigs to College Game Day, I no longer feel obligated to say, “Roll Tide.”
Now, I honestly believe that Crimson Tide is the single best nickname in all of sports. Unfortunately, that name is tied to a mascot that makes almost no sense, an elephant named Big Al. Yes, I know the history, and I know it’s impossible to have a mascot that looks like a red tide, but at least paint the elephant red!
I want everyone to know that I am just having a little fun here. I admire the SEC, not only for sports, but for other reasons. Two of my children graduated from an SEC school, and I believe they are both better off for it. I’ll let you try to guess which one.
Hint: It’s not Alabama or Vanderbilt.
Image via Picryl.