Apparently, King Charles is eagerly anticipating President Trump’s unprecedented second state visit to the U.K. All the pomp and circumstance our kinfolk can muster will be laid on heavy, including resounding royal salutes and procession rides around Windsor Castle in fancy carriages. Perhaps the pièce de résistance will be a lavish state banquet.
That’s all very nice, but Trump is a man of the people, who feels as comfortable in a garbage truck as a resplendent carriage adorned with gold.
The late-Queen Elizabeth II (who liked Trump, and vice-versa) would be presented with up to four different dinner menus to choose from. When Pompous Frenchie Macron visited the U.K., the good King Charlie hired a French chef, which was probably wise given their food snobbery.
Though President Trump deserves the utmost deference, the planners needn’t quibble over his menu. Blimey mate, for breakfast I’d bet he’d even enjoy one of the infamously greasy English breakfasts, including sausage, bacon, baked beans, fired mushrooms, eggs, grilled tomatoes, and black pudding. Well, maybe not the black pudding -- sometimes it may be better to not know what one is consuming. For the benefit of our taste buds, ignorance is bliss.
While capable of remarkable insight and attention to complex details, President Trump also has a fantastic grasp of common sense, and is endowed with a populist aura. By many reports, he also has a populist-type palette. I can’t imagine Trump tucking into turtle soup, Scottish langoustines on a nest of cucumber with basil mousse, and chilled tomato consommé, for example. And while he loves Scotland, host to some of his picturesque golf courses, he probably wishes their traditional Haggis dish stay north of the border -- preferably on one of their remote, stark, and wind-swept islands with infrequent ferry service.
Trump doesn’t need four menus with peculiar entrees. By all means, the Chiefs of Protocol should lay down the red carpet for our President and First Lady, but the chef’s protocols better not lay down roast pheasants in full plumage, or Calve’s liver terrine during the banquet. Pizza, burgers, diet coke, and cherry-vanilla ice cream will likely satisfy greatly. And by all means, feel free to deliver a full English breakfast in the morning. Actually, not “full” -- go ahead and blacklist the black pudding.
That might be a menu fit for the President of God’s country. God save the King, but God Bless America.
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