The number of people who self-identify as LGBTQ is unprecedented; thirty percent of US women age 18–27 and 30–50% of Ivy league college students, both male and female.  While it is important to have respect and compassion for those who gay-identified or who are struggling with sexual identity issues, we must examine what this phenomenon means downstream — what does this mean for the next generation.  Assuming that many of those self-identifying as LGBTQ will develop a longer-term relationship with a same sex partner, what will this mean for children of those couples, i.e., for those able to find or pay for sperm or surrogates?  What are the challenges for children from same sex relationships?  Are we considering the perspective of the child?  Unfortunately for those children, the problems are disturbingly significant, both from a scientific as well as a moral-religious perspective.

In a comprehensive ‘study of studies’ review, “Growing Up with Gay Parents: What’s the Big Deal?” done by Richard Fitzgibbons, MD, Professor at Catholic University and Director of the Institute for Marital Healing, he examined eleven different studies on the mental health of children of gay partners.  Collectively these studies showed that anxiety levels, ADHD, trust, attachment, and many other issues among children of gay parents were significantly higher in comparison to children from traditional marriages, resulting in a myriad of problems including much poorer academic performance and major social challenges into adulthood including higher rates of alcohol abuse.  Here are two of the studies he cited:

• A 2013 Canadian study (Allen 2013), which analyzed data from a very large population-based sample, revealed that the children of gay and lesbian couples are only about 65 percent as likely to have graduated from high school as are the children of married, opposite-sex couples. The girls are more apt to struggle academically than the boys. Daughters of lesbian (identifying) parents displayed dramatically lower graduation rates.
• In a 2015 study (Sullins 2015a) using a representative sample of 207,007 children, including 512 with same-sex parents, from the US National Health Interview Survey, emotional problems were over twice as prevalent for children with same-sex parents than for children with opposite-sex parents.

(A contributing factor could be that lesbian couple divorce rates are twice that of the heterosexual population.)

Another study done by George Rekers, Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science at the University of South Carolina, “Homosexual Adoption: What Science Has Discovered,” revealed that most children adopted by same-sex couples display “greater levels of stress,” and more suffer from “suicidal tendencies and attempts” which unfortunately I can testify to within my own family. His and other studies were the basis for Florida initially not allowing adoption for same sex couples. While some try and discredit Dr. Rekers because of his personal values opposing same-sex marriage, the facts in his study are clear.

Katy Faust, author of “Them Before Us,” properly observes that we are not looking at the issue from the correct moral perspective.  She advocates that we should be looking at the issue from the perspective of the child, not the “selfish” desires of the prospective parents, i.e., strongly considering the mental health of the next generation as primary.  She believes that children should be brought into the world with the best chance of a fulfilling life, with a mother and a father.  Many studies support her contention. She describes scenarios where such children are desperately seeking out their biologically missing parent.  Gay adults may want a child — but is that what is best for the child?

A gay identifying couple who wants children, would likely respond that first of all, we didn’t choose this lifestyle. The uncomfortable truth is that they did.  As I have argued in a recent piece in the American Thinker, “The Influence of Herd Mentality on Sexual and Gender Identity”, there is no DNA or and physical evidence that indicates gayness so even if we assume this is some kind of personality trait like laziness or stealing or anger, don’t we help people manage their proclivities and find the underlying anxieties or lust triggers or other challenges? Unfortunately, today we have a society that does the opposite, that celebrates their choice and tells those who are searching and struggling that they don’t have a choice.  That said, if someone still wants to make that choice to self-identify as gay that’s up to the individual. Nevertheless, we need to discourage them from potentially ruining the life of a new soul.

From a Jewish perspective, the Bible is crystal clear.  Jews read about God’s expectations for proper sexual behavior from the book of Leviticus on the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, at the holiest time of day.  The Talmud (Bavli, Chulin 92a-b) clearly states that contracts should not be written for gay marriage.  In terms of women self-identifying as lesbians, the Shulhan Aruch, the Code of Jewish law, clearly prohibits this.  Conversely, the traditional family is the bedrock of all three Abrahamic faiths.

This isn’t a recommendation to treat those who identify as gay in any kind of disparaging way.  Their challenge is most difficult, especially in today’s gay celebrating climate. Yet, we need to understand that the downstream impacts of their potential choice to acquire a child can be disastrous for the child and is something we need to discourage.

Today, unfortunately, adoption by gay identified parents is legal in much of the West. Nevertheless, we need to discourage this option for gay-identified couples.  Additionally, it ought to be a major consideration for those who are struggling with their sexual identity and contemplating whether a gay or traditional life path is their best option in the long-term.

Yehezkel (Gary) Schiff is President of Jewish Family Forever.  Jewish Family Forever's mission is to provide critical information to communities, professionals and individuals on how to deal with sexual identity challenges such as same sex attraction in order to encourage and strengthen traditional marriage using safe (not conversion therapy), scientific, and Torah based principles.  jewishfamilyforever.org

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