It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…. (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities)
I recently attended a large family event. Seating arrangements are always difficult but for some unknown reason, the hostess banished two of our family members to tables where they knew nary a soul, while putting in their place at our table a “married” couple none of us knew, one of whom had been a man who transitioned to a female and the other a woman who transitioned to a male.
(For the sake of clarity and consistency I will refer to them using their preferred pronouns only because it gets very confusing calling a so-called transwoman “he” and a so-called transman “she.”)
Image created using AI.
The event was rife with people on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. I guess (sigh) society has transitioned to a point where this is increasingly the norm. We no longer have one-offs with Uncle John and his “roommate” or Aunt Mary and her “best friend,” where everyone knew what was going on but just didn’t go there—a variant, I suppose, of Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell.
No. Today, the panoply of genders and relationships is on full display at even the most traditional of family events.
What was both notable and ironic was that the “transwoman” constantly referred to herself in conversations with us as a guy or one of the guys, misgendering “herself” while failing to have mastered the habits of actually being a woman—like sitting with one’s legs together when wearing a dress or skirt.
“She” could have benefited from some Dylan Mulvaney-esque charm school advice. Manspreading in a dress has its dangers, and we got to see “it” hanging out in all its glory.
One liberal family member mentioned she was okay in the ladies’ restroom with the “transman,” but when the “transwoman” showed up, that crossed a line.
Incidentally, “transman” had a full set of breasts and a full beard. “He” didn’t look any more like a man than his wife looked like a woman. And we all wondered if they weren’t essentially in a heterosexual relationship. Why not stick with the birthday suits and identities they were born with?
To further set the scene:
One of the gay guests was wearing a black skirt and had his nails painted robin’s egg blue.
Another gay man, dressed as a man, was desperate to be noticed. He was the living embodiment of Jack from Will & Grace. He made the event more about him than anyone else.
Clearly, even at traditional events, the new normal is for individuals on the LGBTQ+ spectrum to compulsively dress or adorn themselves in a non-traditional manner. One longs for the days when lesbians wore a dress or a smart pants outfit and the men were impeccably dressed in suits.
If a large part of how one dresses and carries oneself is to draw attention to one’s adopted “gender,” or if one pushes the boundaries of sexual appearance to become a provocateur eliciting responses from traditionalists, trad folks; or if one bullies others into going along with the performance art by shaming them if they don’t acquiesce, and these behaviors become so normalized, mainstreamed, and accepted that they no longer provoke a response, will LGBTQ+ folks still to go out of their way to shock their audiences?
The “transwoman” clearly felt out of place and was very sullen. “She” was as uncomfortable in her skin as she was in her dress. It could have been because she is shy or was placed at a table with guests she didn’t know.
But it turns out that, sadly, there is more than meets the eye. When the “transwoman” had come out as gay in high school and told the school counselor that (then a boy) he felt different, he was handed a book on transitioning and told he might be in the wrong body. The transwoman confided to a guest that “she” is now wondering if that boy made a mistake.
This kind of tortured experience is the obvious outcome of pushing the trans issue as a solution for the feelings that so many experience as kids, teens, and young adults.
I wanted to grab “her” and say, “You can de-transition! After all, we all know that everything is still intact—at least, physically.”
It’s so easy to laugh or shrug it off as not our problem; so easy to turn away because it’s all so overwhelming and distressing and doesn’t seem like there is much we can do.
But lives are being played with and souls tormented, causing anguish that redounds to families, friends, and spouses, affecting many people. According to the latest 2024 Gallup poll, if you believe it, 9.3% of adults identify as LGBTQ+, up from 3.5% in 2012. Among young people, the trend is even more astounding, with 22.7% of Gen Z adults identifying as LGBTQ+. These individuals’ parents, siblings, partners, and friends are all affected by their decision to be gay, non-binary, transition, dress like a cat, etc.
As for our transwoman table guest, “she” was undoubtedly manipulated as a boy in distress—a textbook case of a young lad who was unhappy and had a problem, was told by supposedly caring adults that transitioning would solve it, and is just as miserable today, if not more so, than before transitioning.
The sad thing is that many of us expected this. In 1979, Dr. Paul McHugh, Johns Hopkins’ Chief Psychiatrist, closed one of the nation’s first gender identity clinics where “sex-change” operations had been mastered, because transitioning wasn’t curing or helping patients feel better. Due to massive demand and political and economic pressure (to make money IMHO), the clinic reopened in 2017, ignoring the reality that sex transitioning isn’t necessarily curing people.
An ER nurse recently told me that nearly half of their ER cases involve transitioning LGBTQ+ individuals in severe psychological distress. Is anyone surprised? In addition to the high level of hormones taken to “transition” from male to female or vice versa (a biological impossibility), they are often on a variety of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and psychotropic pharmaceuticals to treat multiple mental conditions.
In the early 2000s in the Bay Area, we were fighting against queering the schools when it was in its infancy. Then, it was under the guise of diversity curricula, not Wokeism or DEI. Ironically, the relative who was not okay with the “trans” couple in the ladies’ room is the same person I warned about this, 20 years ago. Back then, she responded, “Oh, that’s just crazy California. That would never happen here in the East.”
She has since changed her tune.
I didn’t interact with the “transman” at all, so I cannot comment on “his” deepest thoughts but he didn’t crack a smile all night. It’s possible he shares in the sorrow and regrets of his mate or is happy as a clam as a man. But the couple appeared as glum and glummer—two gloomy people who didn’t seem at all content with who they were or how they were outwardly presenting themselves.
I left feeling sad for the “transwoman” and angry that a small number of activists could infiltrate the schools, media, pop culture, and our political institutions so successfully and so openly that they were able to normalize something that is clearly not normal—and had the power to make it taboo for me to say this, so taboo that I write about it under a pseudonym and have omitted all identifying names.
We live in remarkable times. Mars is within reach, maybe within our lifetime. Lives are saved by successful transplants, cures, treatments, and medications. More people have more freedom and prosperity, fuller bellies, and the comforts of reliable shelter than ever before.
Yet, there is a looming darkness because these cultural battles upend the arc of the moral universe humans have been carving out, at least since G-d gave Moses the Ten Commandments.
In so many ways, this is the best of times, but it means precious little if our moral compass is malfunctioning and the human condition is up for grabs.
The people who push the trans agenda profit from it politically and financially, but don’t stick around to clean up the carnage, leaving individuals suffering and confused like that trans couple. They don’t really care about improving lives.
How can it be that, in the age of such wisdom, we are guided by such foolishness; or that, in the epoch of belief, we still remain gullible; or that, despite the light around us, we are mired in a darkness so thick, that the hope that should accompany freedom, prosperity, technological progress, and full bellies, has turned into despair.