In contemporary discourse, “stress” has become the ubiquitous villain, blamed for everything from minor irritations to severe physical ailments and mental health crises. We speak of “stressful jobs,” “stressful relationships,” and “stressful deadlines,” implying that the external pressures themselves are inherently detrimental. This popular misconception, however, fundamentally misunderstands the nature of human adaptation and resilience, and weakens us when we should be strong.
A more accurate perspective, bolstered by the seminal work of figures like Hans Selye and Viktor Frankl, reveals that stress—an external demand or stimulus—is rarely the issue. (Barring Wile E. Coyote-level stress, that is.)
The issue is strain, our individual physiological and psychological response to that demand called stress. Strain is what ultimately determines well-being, performance, and suffering.
Image by AI.
A critical aspect of understanding stress is acknowledging its inherent uncontrollability, in general. We are, to a significant degree, powerless to prevent the myriad stressors that life presents. One cannot prevent someone else’s child on an airplane from crying. We cannot control the sudden traffic jam that makes us late, the unexpected economic downturn that threatens our livelihood, or the unforeseen personal crisis that erupts without warning. These external demands are facts of existence that do not respect our wishes or efforts to avert them.
The reaction to stress is called strain. Since the presence of stressors is largely beyond our volition, our only recourse lies in mastering our response. All we can do is condition ourselves to handle the stress; in essence, to control the strain.
Hans Selye is the father of modern stress research. A Hungarian-Canadian endocrinologist, he dedicated his life to studying the body’s reaction to various demands. Selye meticulously documented the body’s reaction to a demand placed upon it, identifying a universal pattern he termed the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS).
An example of adaptation is seen in athletes. That adaptation is a rare example of stress that is volitionally and controllably imposed (recall the overwhelming majority of stressors are beyond our control).
Physical training, like any other process of growth and improvement, requires us to expose ourselves to increasing demands to build capacity. Weightlifters do not get stronger by avoiding heavy loads; they progressively increase the stress (weight) on their muscles to force adaptation and build greater strength and resilience. This adaptation is called “improvement” or “progress.” They do this by effectively controlling their strain. (“It huuurts. This is difficult. Waaaah.”)
This is true if improvement is to result from any undertaking. You stress (place a demand), you adapt (hopefully improve). If you did not adapt, the stress was inadequate in the vast majority of instances. Try harder. (See, e.g., George Brooks’ work.)
Similarly, psychological resilience is forged not by escaping stressors, but by confronting them and developing strain control mechanisms. Every so often, you hear someone talk about how “torture does not work.” I am sure those who say it have never been tortured—at least not past the torture of when their McRib sandwich is out of season.
Real experts who deal with real torture, which I am going to consider as real stress (sorry McRibophiles), do not train the Special Forces to handle stress by applying facial masks, giving massages, or aromatherapy. Surprise!
SERE Training, an acronym for Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape, is a critical component of military training techniques. It equips personnel with essential skills necessary to endure adverse conditions and navigate complex environments successfully…
SERE Training…represents an essential military framework designed to equip service members with the skills necessary for survival in hostile environments. This training ensures that personnel can navigate challenging circumstances resulting from isolation or captivity, effectively minimizing risks associated with such situations…
…This training emphasizes building resilience against both physical hardships and psychological stressors encountered during survival situations.
…This includes methods to conserve energy, manage discomfort, and maintain morale. Soldiers learn to endure extended periods without supplies while developing skills to mentally cope with isolation and uncertainty.
Moreover, resistance training incorporates simulated scenarios where soldiers practice maintaining their composure during high-stress events. Role-playing and immersive exercises enhance adaptability and encourage critical thinking under pressure, which are vital for successful execution of escape and evasion strategies.
Through rigorous resistance training, military personnel cultivate long-lasting endurance, enabling them to face the unpredictable nature of combat and survival situations confidently. This foundational skill set ultimately enhances the effectiveness of SERE Training in fostering robust operational readiness.
While Selye provided a physiological lens, Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor, offered a profound existential perspective on the primacy of response over circumstance. Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy, lived through unimaginable stressors in Nazi concentration camps, where he witnessed extreme suffering and the depths of human degradation.
Yet, in the face of such absolute horrors, he observed that, even under the most dire conditions, individuals possessed “the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl’s work fundamentally argues that life’s ultimate challenge is not to avoid suffering (which is inevitable), but to find meaning in suffering. That is, a means to control strain.
For those in the concentration camps, the stressors were constant and annihilating. Frankl witnessed that those who survived, or at least retained their dignity and humanity, were often those who managed their internal strain by finding a purpose, a reason to endure, or a meaning in their existence, however small.
Whether it was the thought of loved ones waiting, an unfinished scientific work, or simply the determination to bear witness, this internal choice of attitude—this refusal to let the external horrors dictate their inner state—was paramount. Frankl’s observations reveal that even when the external environment offers no control, the internal landscape remains sovereign.
Synthesizing the insights of Selye and Frankl illuminates the critical distinction between stress and strain. Selye, through his biological framework, shows us the inherent adaptive mechanisms of the body. He teaches us that a demand is simply a demand, and whether it results in benefit or debilitation depends on the individual’s perception and management of the strain.
Frankl, from an existential viewpoint, demonstrates that even in the most extreme and uncontrollable circumstances, the human spirit retains the profound freedom to choose its attitude. If one chooses despair, the strain becomes overwhelming and destructive. If one chooses meaning or purpose, the strain, though painful, can become a crucible for resilience and wisdom.
By understanding this distinction, we shift from a passive victimhood. Blaming “stress” externalizes responsibility and promotes a mindset of helplessness. Conversely, recognizing “strain” as our personal response places the locus of control firmly within ourselves. It highlights that while we cannot always control the stressors life throws our way, we possess a remarkable capacity to control our reactions to them. This doesn’t imply an absence of difficulty or suffering; rather, it suggests that our well-being is largely determined by how we manage our internal resources, perceptions, and attitudes in the face of life’s inevitable demands.
Wanna beat “stress”? Accept more stress, deal with more stress, put yourself in more stressful situations, and adapt.
The only downside? Business loss to the spas for conning you into believing theirs is the way to “relieve stress.”