I’m no fan of Michael Moore’s politics or his propaganda films sold as “documentaries,” but there is one entry on his résumé that I thoroughly enjoy: Canadian Bacon, featuring the great John Candy in his final film. Moore wrote and directed this comedic gem about an American president starting a war with Canada in order to gain traction in the polls. Candy, one of Canada’s most beloved entertainers, plays a hilariously anti-Canadian American sheriff who is thrilled about taking up arms against our northern neighbors. The whole thing is top-notch farce earning a funny disclaimer in the final credits: “No Canadians were harmed during this production.” Strangely, it’s Moore’s only non-documentary effort in three decades.

Or maybe it was one of Moore’s first documentaries, and he just didn’t know it. I say this because Canada’s Chrystia Freeland (one of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum clones and the granddaughter of an actual Ukrainian Nazi) promised this week that she will enter into a military alliance against the United States should she become the next prime minister. It’s always loony-leftist women with “crazy eyes” who threaten nuclear war over hurt feelings -- the same loony-leftist women who pretend that all war would magically disappear if only women (but, egad, what’s a woman?) ruled the planet.

Freeland’s warmongering rhetoric against President Trump and the U.S. is no surprise. She’s simply channeling the primal screams of Canadian Karens everywhere who really don’t like that Trump continues to offer the people of Canada an escape hatch from the Trudeau family’s Marxist destruction: becoming America’s 51st state. The rest of the world would kill for the opportunity to join Team U.S.A., but so many of the loony-leftists who live inside America’s hat have mistaken American protection for Canadian power that America’s goofy little brother thinks it’s something that it’s not: America’s peer.

The reason President Trump refers to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as a “governor” is because his country’s economy and security depend entirely upon America’s goodwill. Canada is a huge country with some of the most valuable natural resources on the planet, but it has a small population and no means of defending itself without taking refuge under America’s security umbrella. If China or Russia wanted Canada and the U.S. looked the other way, Canadians would soon be speaking Chinese or Russian.

If the U.S. closed its borders to Canadian exports, Canada’s economy would quickly collapse. Heck, if the U.S. merely stopped subsidizing Canada’s economy with one-sided trade “deals” that benefit Canadian producers at Americans’ expense, Canada’s economy would still quickly collapse. America literally pays to keep Canada economically viable, and America’s military machine protects Canadians while they sleep. All that maple-flavored pomp and circumstance that allows Canucks to puff out their chests and proudly proclaim, “We are not Americans,” is paid for by the American people. Canadians just never bother reading the boilerplate language that comes with their country’s extended warranty label.

The U.S. props up Canada on the world stage and allows its little brother to sit at the grown-up stable during international meetings. U.S. national security chiefs share intelligence with their friends up north, and American diplomats include their Canadian counterparts in global strategy sessions. But these are the perquisites of being America’s reliable friend. They are American-bestowed “privileges” that could easily disappear if Chrystia Freeland and her band of America-hating misfits turn Canada into an even greater liability for Americans.

Make no mistake, Canada is already a liability. A strategic thinker and wise Canadian named Julius Ruechel recently put together a wonderfully succinct exposition of how Canada creates unnecessary risks for the U.S. As Ruechel argues, by rejecting our shared Western culture and embracing “multiculturalism” as its global brand, Canada has invited many of America’s enemies into its own house. China’s fentanyl operations across the U.S. depend upon Canadian distribution hubs. Canadian officials have permitted the Chinese Communist Party to conduct military training operations inside North American airspace and within Canada’s Arctic territories. The Canadian government nearly allowed China to establish a deep-water naval port in the heart of Nunavut’s Arctic coast -- an ideal Northern position from which to target American cities across the continent. Just as is a major problem in D.C., too many Canadian politicians are in bed with the Chinese.

Aside from Canada’s unhealthy relationship with communist China, its leftist government has allowed the country to become home base for a host of other bad actors who enjoy poking America in the eye. Transnational crime syndicates depend upon Canadian financial institutions and communication networks. The World Economic Forum uses Canada as a center for delivering globalist propaganda into the United States. The U.K. and European Union use Canada to undermine official U.S. policy and project European power into North America. And whenever Canada wishes to “flex its muscle,” it threatens to cut off hydrocarbon energy supplies to the U.S. and redirect critical resources to communist China. In effect, Canada is a weak link that leaves America exposed and American interests vulnerable.

What does Ruechel recommend for his fellow Canadians? He concludes, “Life inside Fortress America looks pretty good considering what Canada has become.” Joining common-sense North Americans together would certainly defang vampire Chrystia Freeland and help us all avoid Canadian Bacon: Part Deux.

Image: AT via Magic Studio